Selfing
“Selfing” is the inevitable and incorrigible tendency to construct out of almost everything and
every situation an “I,” a “me,”, a “mine,” and then to operate in the world from that limited
perspective, which is mostly fantasy and defense. Hardly a moment passes that this doesn’t
happen, but it is so much a part of the fabric of our world that it goes completely unnoticed,
much as the proverbial fish has no knowledge of water, so thoroughly it is immersed in it. Out of
virtually any and every moment and experience, our thinking mind constructs “my” moment,
“my” experience, “my” child, “my” hunger, “my” desire, “my” opinion, “my” problem.
If you observe this process of “selfing” with sustained attention and inquiry, you will see that
what we call the self is really a construct of our own mind, and hardly a permanent one, either.
If you look deeply for a stable, indivisible self, for the core “you” that underlies “your”
experience, you’re not likely to find it other than in more thinking. You might say you are your
name, but that is not quite accurate. Your name is just a label. The same is true of your age,
your gender, your opinions, and so on. None are fundamental to who you are.
When you inquire in this way as deeply as you can into who you are or what you are, you’re
almost sure to find that there is no solid place to land. If you ask: “Who is the I who is asking
who I am?, ultimately you come to, “I don’t know.” The “I” just appears as a construct, which is
known by its attributes, none of which, taken singly or together, really makes up the whole of
the person. Moreover, the “I” construct has a tendency continually to dissolve and reconstruct
itself, virtually moment by moment.
Buddhist might say that this is because there is no absolute separate self in the first place, just
the process of continual self-construction or “selfing.” Yet, “No self” does not mean being a
nobody. What it means is that everything is interdependent and that there is no isolated,
independent core you. You’re only you in relationship to all the other forces and events in the
world – including your parents, your childhood, your thoughts and feelings, outside events,
time, and so on. Learn more about Energy Healing, Muscle Testing & Mental Clarity.
Moreover, you are already a somebody, no matter what. You are who you
already are. But who you are is not your name, your age, your childhood, your beliefs, your
fears. They are part of it, but not the whole. Learn more about Energy Healing, Muscle Testing & Mental Clarity.
Jon Kabat-Zinn
